Well,...I (Karina) thought that I was going to be past this issue of worry since I have been on this support-raising 'thing' before. The difference was the first time around I was single and it was before it affected other people besides me. Now, I have a hardworking and diligent husband and 2 precious little ones to consider. So,...as always, my worrisome side got a hold of me for a few moments this afternoon after over analysing the transitions that we will be going through next month as we go on full time support. The Lord has been quietly whispering in my ear not to worry but I continue to do so. Tommy, our pastor, went through Matthew 6:25-34 today and it was also the passage that we studied last week in bible study! (Matthew 6-NET Bible)
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink, or about your body, what you will wear. Isn’t there more to life than food and more to the body than clothing? Look at the birds in the sky: They do not sow, or reap, or gather into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Aren’t you more valuable than they are? And which of you by worrying can add even one hour to his life? Why do you worry about clothing? Think about how the flowers of the field grow; they do not work or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his glory was clothed like one of these! And if this is how God clothes the wild grass, which is here today and tomorrow is tossed into the fire to heat the oven, won’t he clothe you even more, you people of little faith? So then, don’t worry saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear?’ For the unconverted pursue these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But above all pursue his kingdom and righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. So then, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Today has enough trouble of its own."
The maker of the universe says that he will take care of us and I chose to worry?! That's sin! No doubt about it....plain and simple. This gets right to the heart of the matter within me:
For some reason, we think of doubt and worry as “small” sins. But when a Christian displays unbelief…or an inability to cope with life, he is saying to the world, “My God cannot be trusted,” and that kind of disrespect makes one guilty of a fundamental error, the heinous sin of dishonoring God. That is no small sin.
John MacArthur, The Ultimate Priority
This is what pierces...that I would not trust my God I would to say to others by my actions that He is one not to be trusted as they see me fret and worry about the things I 'think' we will need. I am making a choice to be a hypocrite to all those who know I call myself a christian. Therefore, I must go on my knees and choose to follow and trust the maker of the universe to care for our needs and take care of my little family apart from any effort I try to make. He's done it perfectly well in ages past what makes me think he can't do it today. Another chance for my kids to see faith up close and personal in their mommy. I love what my friend Dana Gailey said to the ladies one evening at church, "Your children will only have the faith that you practice in front of them."
Last little note...today as we were coming out of church I was having a hard time rounding Jake up to head to the car. We walked passed a grassy area which tends to have dandelions and Jake likes to stop and pick them for me and put them in my hair to make it look 'preddy.' My little boy wants to clothe my hair in the precious flowers that our Lord clothes everyday in his most beautiful and vibrant colors.
I think yellow really is my color.
(photo courtesy of 2-dog-farm; http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2036/2508728365_42a3d6174b.jpg?v=0)
